Comments on yes, i am: too little too late

Forester, while it is the received wisdom among Mo...

2008-05-16T17:30:00.000-06:00

Forester, while it is the received wisdom among Mormons that most people who "leave the church" have been offended in some way, I don't think that holds in general for those who actually resign, and I don't think it's even true about inactives. My impression (and it is just an anecdotal impression) is that those who resign are likely to do so because of active differences in doctrine or position (like me and Craig) or because they've discovered something unsavory about Mormon history. As for those who go inactive, my opinion is that the majority slip away quietly because they can't be arsed to get to church every Sunday, not because they have really strong feelings about it. People who are personally offended belong to both groups, but I don't think they are the majority—or even a significant fraction—of either population.

mohohawaii:Don't hold your breath about any action...

2008-05-16T14:10:00.000-06:00

mohohawaii:

Don't hold your breath about any action happening as a result of your letter to Member Records. You will probably need to keep bugging the local bishop.

Damn.

from the church's point of view, at what precise moment is your baptism undone?

I'm not sure. If you rejoin the church you do have to get rebaptised, and when you leave the church (just like getting excommunicated) you "loose" the priesthood and all "temple blessings". What that exactly means though, I don't know.

Of course for me, those "punishments" by the church are pretty moot, because I don't believe that God is too worried about whether I'm a member of the LDS church or not. I think their threat of "eternal consequences" it totally unfounded and without merit.

Colin:

So, if I don't resign, what kind of intrusions should I expect? Will there be any?

It all depends on the local leaders. If you move and somehow they get your records, they'll probably come try to home-teach you, bring you cookies to convince you to attend some activity, etc. However, they may never find you and you'll never hear from the church again. If you're mainly just concerned about being bothered by home-teachers, you might just wait and see if they find you and then tell them to leave you alone, or then resign from the church.

I did it not so they'd leave me alone (as they had no idea where I lived at the time when I resigned), but because I didn't want to be a member of the church, to have my name associated with an organisation I didn't believe in, and to provide some closure to a rather painful experience in the church.

forrester:

I wasn't offended or angered by the pamphlet. I simply thought it was silly and ineffective.

I do hope that the church members and leaders will eventually learn from their mistakes and will learn that treating gays like this is not only fundamentally wrong and can destroy individual's lives, but that it is hurting the church as well.

As a 19 year old missionary I had no idea that the church that I grew up with, loved and felt loved in, could actually hurt anyone. I've learned a lot since then, but I have so much more to learn.

Same here.

The majority of people who leave the church were o...

2008-05-16T01:09:00.000-06:00

The majority of people who leave the church were offended personally by one or two individuals from something they said that in most cases has nothing to do with the doctrine of the church. I agree that the form letter doesn't fit in your situation and I could see how it would anger or offened you. Hopefully we will learn from our mistakes. "We" being the church.

I like reading your blog because it helps me understand how and why people are being hurt by the doctrines and functions of the church. As a 19 year old missionary I had no idea that the church that I grew up with, loved and felt loved in, could actually hurt anyone. I've learned a lot since then, but I have so much more to learn.

hang in there kid. For some, resignation is a huge...

2008-05-15T21:03:00.000-06:00

hang in there kid. For some, resignation is a huge, affirming step. If it is the step that will help you in your healing, you go for it. You have eloquently articulated your feelings over the last while in your posts and I applaud your strength.

Go go go!

If time goes by and nothing happens, pick up the p...

2008-05-15T15:34:00.000-06:00

If time goes by and nothing happens, pick up the phone and call Member Records. As soon as I did that, everything went through like magic.

So, if I don't resign, what kind of intrusions sho...

2008-05-15T15:03:00.000-06:00

So, if I don't resign, what kind of intrusions should I expect? Will there be any?

There hasn't been so far, but I presume it's due to me leaving at age 13. I suppose I should only worry about it when I move out on my own, relocate, and they solicit me then.

When I resigned my membership, the process dragged...

2008-05-15T09:29:00.000-06:00

When I resigned my membership, the process dragged on for several years. It took a letter from my attorney to finally get things moving forward. I've heard that this is not atypical.

Don't hold your breath about any action happening as a result of your letter to Member Records. You will probably need to keep bugging the local bishop.

Here's a question for you: from the church's point of view, at what precise moment is your baptism undone? From what I understand, there is no such moment, since there is no associated ordinance or prayer for membership resignations. Instead, the "eternal consequences" mentioned in the form letter seem to happen when a bit gets flipped in a computer database.

My understanding is that the church gets approximately 100,000 resignations per year. I'm sure the pamphlet (which sounds identical to what I received 10 years ago) gets frequent reprints.

I wish the church were not so secretive about all this. Over the years it publishes less and less statistical information. It is impossible from church figures to reconcile how the year-by-year number of members is calculated. It appears that people who resign are still included in the official membership numbers.

Oy vay.