i am rubber and you are glue

As I've read this thread over at Mind on Fire, I've been thinking about why it is that there, in a space that is dedicated to open-thought, scepticism, and the breaking down of social norms, that those who seem to be against those things to whatever degree, go into that space and try to invalidate our experiences by saying they're not representative of the "true" Mormonism - whatever the hell that is.

I've been considering why some of those who are part of the Mormon system, the hierarchy, the organisation often seem to evidence the need to both further alienate the disenfranchised as well as attack and discredit our experiences in and feelings about Mormonism.

This is not by any means specific to Mormonism, nor religion, and is in fact something that I've found to be very common throughout every level of our society. As an atheist, as an ex-Mormon, and especially as a gay, I've experienced constant attack by those in the mainstream (the religious, the Mormon, and the straight) telling me that my experiences aren't real, that they are outliers, that they don't have the right kind of meaning or usefulness, that I deserve to be ostracised and reprimanded for not conforming, and discredited for not having the same beliefs, wants, needs, feelings and experiences as the majority.

The pressure to conform to society is extremely pervasive and invasive. It is a threat to those in power to let heretics of whatever flavour (religious, political, sexual etc.) have an equal part in society. The need of the majority to overwhelm and suppress the minorities seems to be a strong drive in human societies.

I've seen that evidenced, both in John Remy's excommunication as well as much of the discussion which followed on Mind on Fire and elsewhere on the blogosphere. It is a fundamental threat to the hierarchy and power structure of Mormonism to allow anyone to get away with any sort of criticism, or to allow critics to have the tiniest degree legitimacy. So the church tries to silence us, discredit us, slander us, and ostracise us for daring to think and speak outside the pre-approved box. And there are very many individuals whose own beliefs and perceptions are threatened by what we discuss, and seem to feel the need to defend that which is indefensible and wrong.

I've seen this with certain of my own family members, who a more than a few times have been angry with me or offended because I have posted things critical of Mormonism or religion in general. Even if we're in no way attacking an individual, that fact that anyone is attacking a world-view they espouse feels personally threatening to them - and that is exactly what the church wants.

There are very, very few religionists who are able to handle any bit of criticism of their particular brand of superstition - whether religious, political, cultural, it's the same - no matter how true, accurate, or well-meaning the critique, because they've integrated their beliefs about the outside world into their sense of self. For them to have to change a belief or admit that any belief, let alone an entire belief system is incorrect is like being forced to rip off an arm or leg.

Mormonism is stuck in that space where admitting fault to any degree would invalidate one of the main premises upon which church is built, namely that the organisation is perfect and led by ALMIGHTY GOD. The fact that the the church has changed numerous times in the past and abandoned problematic dogmas is conveniently ignored or explained away with the most dubious of logic. The important thing is that it is completely true and inspired NOW - whenever that now takes place. In 20 years the church will doubtless pretend it was never officially homophobic, that its anti-gay commandments, doctrines, and policies were just the mistaken and bigoted teachings of men and try to explain away its official endorsement of those ideas just as it has unsuccessfully attempted to explain away its racist ones.

Most adherents to Mormonism are stuck in the same trap, not only are unable to accept personal criticism, but institutional. A typical individual Mormon feels the need to defend the church against any and all perceived attacks because the good (even perfect) reputation of the church is a part of their self-identity. To admit the church ever has been or could be wrong, let alone on the massive scale on which it actually is, would be psychologically devastating to most members of the church.

So rather than let those of us who have left or have broken out of that paradigm own our experiences and express them freely, those committed to the status quo feel the intense need to ignore the problem, pretend it's not nearly as bad as we anti-Mormons make it out to be, or otherwise ameliorate our criticism into oblivion so that they can stay in their blissful ignorant little box and not have to see the world as it really is: fundamentally flawed and dirty and beautiful, needing none of the nonsensical hypocritical rules and regulations.

Thankfully, it doesn't work.