The LdS church-run Brigham Young University (the BYU) tends to be a fascinating microcosm of Mormon culture and ideas. Because it is not very prone to outside influences or pressure, it is inclined to intensify and more explicitly state those ideas to a degree that is greater than one might find in Mormon populations elsewhere (especially outside of Utah).
In my time at BYU as a student, I observed how the attitudes and ideas that growing up had previously been restricted to the home and the church were also very visible outside of those two areas, and in society at large. This being because the vast, vast majority of people (over 90%) were not only Mormon, but were also from a shared ethnic and often common socio-economic background. This transferred into an incredibly homogeneous culture that I found to be very uncomfortable and often disconcerting; where the authoritarian aspects of Mormonism fed off themselves and became an all-pervasive culture of absolutely obeying authority being seen as the greatest virtue.
That is probably the main cause of my discomfort while a student at BYU, as despite my very strict Mormon upbringing, I have always been very uncomfortable with any idea that limits free expression, free thought, free exchange of ideas, etc. There are far too many examples of this overarching, all-penetrating, and overwhelming (religious) authoritarianism to enumerate, but just three of them that have stuck out most in my mind are these:
1) Treating Students as Children
A then friend of mine was required to pay thousands a year for an on-campus meal-plan that wasn't redeemable at the on-campus grocery store because BYU had found that some freshmen lacked the skills to adequately feed themselves, and so decided to force all freshmen to eat at the cafeteria, including those that lived in the on-campus apartments that housed full kitchens. This despite the fact that she was 22, had attended several years of University in her home country of Germany, and wasn't a child. BYU thought it needed to play the role of parent to these students, instead of letting them learn to care for themselves and learn useful skills like self-sufficiency. Of course, the university's insistence in treating students as children means they often act as such. By taking away nearly any opportunity for a student to experience real independence, and by severely limiting what actions and experiences are available, they ensure the limited emotionally maturity of its graduates. While they learn in their respective majors useful life skills, they more importantly learn that obedience to authority is a virtue to be cultivated, and consequently are very poor independent thinkers.
2) The Honor Code
Every student, faculty member and employee is required to sign a sworn statement that they will follow the "Honor Code" which is an rather broad range of rules of external behaviour. Anything that is deemed a "sin" in Mormonism is also deemed to be against the Honor Code, but it certainly doesn't stop there. While it includes such "sins" as masturbation, pornography, and drinking, it also includes prohibitions against men growing facial hair or students of either gender wearing "immodest" clothing, not only on campus, or even during the semester, but even while at home during summer break/holidays! The rules against facial hair (excepting moustaches for some reason) and rules governing proper dress are probably the most disturbing.
Routinely in the student paper "The Daily Universe" students write opinion pieces about how disgusting and unattractive they find any sort of facial hair, and then often disparage the spiritual health and righteousness of any male individual who dares to grow facial hair, or who allows their hair to become "over-the-collar" or otherwise unkempt. They have been brainwashed to believe that facial hair is inherently unattractive because they believe it to be somehow "evil" - based on its forbidden status by the Honor Code, and because the Honor Code is virtuous and righteous and faultless. Also common is hearing the incredibly sexually repressed men (or even women) complain about the "immodest" dress of women who dare to show a little cleavage, or who walk around wearing a messenger bag whose strap goes between their breasts, separating and defining those dirty, naughty pillows of Satan!!! Because the students are so incredibly repressed sexually, not only do they often confess every instance of masturbation, but they get married more quickly, and have more children sooner than any other demographic I've ever witnessed.
All Mormons are required to attend church weekly, and non-Mormons their respective services as well. I've no idea what non-Mormon atheists/non-religious students are required to do - if indeed there are any. If students don't attend church, they can be punished with probation or expulsion.
If a student is caught viewing porn or engaged in an unapproved activity with another person (any activity besides kissing, or anything homosexual), the "Honor Code Office" often will require that student to attend therapy, and will, as a condition of their staying a student, require their therapist to breach confidentiality to the Honor Code Office, in order to check up on the student's "progress".
3) Academic Freedom
Students and faculty do not get to learn or teach in a true academically free environment. Along with the rules governing external behaviour and appearance, there are numerous banned books, topics, ideas, philosophies, political platforms, and even words (swearing).
For example, a person who express the (political) belief that gay (or in the preferred terminology "same-gender attracted") individuals ought to enjoy the full range of rights afforded to straight individuals is grounds for both ecclesiastical discipline and academic repercussions - expulsion if a student, firing if faculty. A faculty member can be prevented from teaching certain ideas or using certain books simply on the basis that a student may be offended and complain to the university. It is common for anything that causes a student to question their beliefs and biases to cause this. Of course, the main point of attending most universities is to have one's preconceptions challenged and learn new ways of thinking. This only applies at BYU if the thing being taught in no way intersects any church teaching or doctrine. Unfortunately, the church has doctrines and teachings about nearly everything, so it is almost impossible to have a truly open and unfiltered learning environment in any discipline.
A faculty member can be disciplined or fired for teaching, writing, or researching anything the university administration (under pressure from the church leadership in SLC) finds is incompatible with the doctrines of the church. Famously, professors have been fired for researching into church history and publishing unsavoury, but true aspects of the church's history; for espousing views, even scientifically supported ones, that "advocate" homosexuality or gay rights; and for being feminists.
The desire to control and proscribe every tiniest action a person is allowed to do is an attempt by the church (whether concious or not) to control the thoughts of its membership. Because they cannot directly monitor thought or internal belief, they measure everything on the externals. The social rules of Mormon society are so detailed that there is very little room for individuality. Indeed, it is better for the church if there is little-to-no individuality left in its members. The more a person adheres to the rules, the less likely they are to think for themselves.
The church sells a lifestyle where all of life's answers are available in a one-size-fits-all pre-packaged form. In order to fit into and be accepted by the community, you have to be just like everyone else. Even the most minor deviance - say drinking a cup of coffee - is punished. BYU takes this idea and runs with it as far as it can. Being a Democrat (let alone a liberal!), having sideburns that descend lower than the ear lobes, skipping Sunday School, buying groceries on Sunday, watching an "R-rated", or many PG-13 movies, arguing or questioning church doctrines while in in class during the week are all grounds for social ostracism.
Now it is true that there are pockets of more liberal and open people on campus, and a person can surround themselves with open-minded and reality-based people. However they must be very, very careful in what they say or do, even in private, lest they risk disciplinary action. No matter how well a person tries to insulate themselves from the authoritarian aspects of the university, they will be confronted with them daily, whether at church, whether from a authoritarian room-mate, classmate, or professor. There are campaigns that encourage students to tell on each other to the appropriate authority for any infraction against the social code. They sell this as necessary for keeping the righteous atmosphere of the Lord's University from being sullied by the wicked disobedient (liberals).
The Mormon idealisation and virtuisation of absolute obedience to authority is no where better experienced than at BYU - or perhaps even better at BYU-Idaho where even shorts and sandals are banned, where all students have a curfew, and where recently the student political clubs (Democrats and Republicans) were forcibly disbanded. I attended BYU for 8 semesters, and in that time I learnt that the most important virtue for Mormons isn't charity, or love, or compassion, or service, but obedience. Absolute obedience to authority is the key to being successful in Mormonism, and everything is secondary to obedience. Everything. A person may be convinced that supporting gay rights is logical, charitable, compassionate, nice, and even politically necessary, but they won't because they put obedience to authority as more important than any other consideration- even human rights. They do this because the authorities they obey receive their authority from God Himself, and despite reams of evidence to the contrary, will never lead the church or its members wrong.
My experience was Orwellian in many ways that almost defy explanation, and is probably hard for anyone who didn't experience it to understand. There are very few cultures in the US that are more authoritarian than Mormon universities, and even fewer that exhibit the extreme irony that is an authoritarian university.




11 wisdomy word(s):
My husband went to BYU and hated it so much that he stopped going to classes near the beginning of his second semester. He retreated to his room, was alone all the time, and tried to kill himself. That's how repressive that atmosphere was. He failed out of school, obviously, and it took us years to get him back in (at a nonLDS school). BYU scares me.
It seems like all your other points about BYU could eaisily fit under the heading "Treating Students as Children". The whole denial of academic freedom, the freedom to do, or even appear to do, anything that violates church standards, all seem like they are treating students as children. One of my biggest complaints with the church is how it routinely tries to infantalize people.
The stories from my Young Women leaders about BYU and the honor code (always told with the tone of what hi-larious hyjicks they pulled) ultimately made me decide to avoid all religious schools because I didn't think it was right for a school to monitor adults so closely, or certainly for any so-called house of learning to restrict what ideas students were exposed to, and I decided all of this when I was still a believing Mormon.
Even as an LDS member who was born and raised in Provo, BYU scared me. Something about it just seemed strange and "off."
I attended a different school, but when I would spend time with my friends who did attend BYU, it was almost like I didn't recognize them anymore.
They weren't the same fun-loving people I'd known in high school, it was like they had been assimilated into some strange collective and all they cared about was following the rules and making sure everyone else did too. It was sad and creepy.
Based on what I observed from them, what you've written is spot-on.
During my 3 and a half semesters at BYU, I found myself slowly coming to the realization of what you just wrote about. I absolutely hated my time there because I felt like I couldn't actually be myself. During my first semester, I tried to fit in and was totally unable to reconcile who I am with what I was told that I should be. My second semester, I became—to a degree—a social outcast because I decided not to follow the ridiculous rules that were imposed on me. And by the last semester, I was writing essays (for the one class I was actually attending) arguing for legal civil unions for same-sex couples and reveling in my outcast status. I loved making the people around me uncomfortable and told them that if they didn't like it, they needed to get themselves out of the sterile environment they created for themselves and experience the real world for a change because they certainly weren't going to experience it any time soon at BYU.
The attitude against male facial hair in the Church is one of my long-standing pet hates. It grows there on their face naturally, for God's sake! The fact that members can decry facial hair like a sin while somehow not acknowledging the picture of Christ (probably on the wall behind them) wearing a full beard is astoundingly ignorant.
And 'the extreme irony that is an authoritarian university'. Yes indeedy.
Great post!
My experience at BYU hasn't been as Orwellian as yours was (although when I had to belatedly turn in my ecclesiastical endorsement to the Honor Code Office last semester, I did think to myself, "I'm visiting the Ministry of Love for the first time!"), but I too am frustrated and bothered by the mentality of (superficial) obedience by so many at BYU.
I agree that there is quite a homogeneous culture because the majority of students are white, middle-class Americans; it would be silly of someone to judge all Mormons of the world by students at BYU, though–the Cotton-eyed Joe and "Oh my heck!" are not a part of the gospel.
I think the Honor Code can encourage judging others by their outward behavior, and I find students who want to live in a "bubble" naïve and misguided. And oh goodness, don't get me started on those pathetic letters to the editor; most of them get my blood boiling just by being overly critical of anything that is slightly out of line with the norm (Kirby Heyborne must be an apostate if he was in a BEER commercial!!!), but the ones that really get me are those authored by students who also seem to be moral authorities and who instruct certain sinners on campus to repent. Nothing is more delightful than being reminded to dress modestly in a patronizing way by a man.
I do like that you pointed out that there are pockets of more liberal, open-minded students. And I can't believe that you stuck it out for four years in an environment that can be hostile and intolerant of your opinions and lifestyle. That must have taken a lot of self-awareness and courage! Kudos to you.
Its pretty interesting to read through some of your posts. you would think that someone who was totally over whatever they were claiming they were over would do something different than talk about it the whole time. You talk about this guilt that you felt and you must still feel some guilt to be trying to get confirmation from others that you are doing something right. You are the one that stayed out on your mission and lied about what you believed and felt to other people and what you are doing now is probably some other phase that you are going through to get approval of someone or acceptance of the certain crowd that you are trying to fit in with. You used to hate on Americans too after you have lived here for so long. Go back to canada then and stop whining to everyone else. You might be gay but you are not a baby who needs attention so stop acting like one. You can believe in whatever you want but dont hate on others just because they dont have your same beliefs. What are you trying to prove? Look at yourself, a confused individual who apparently is just figuring out who you are. Keep that in mind before you try and bash others who are atleast stable enough and have enough self esteem to have known for a long time who they were and what they represent.
I don't think it says much for your security and stability that you have to go to someone else's blog and troll like this, John. You could have expressed your disagreement with Craig in a polite, respectful fashion, but you chose to make a vicious personal attack. In other words: you have no grounds for criticizing Craig whatsoever.
I hate that we ex-Mormons have to constantly repeat this, but "just get over it" is not a helpful response. Like it or not, Mormonism has had a deep, likely indelible impact on our lives, especially for those of us who grew up in Mormon families. There's simply no "getting over" something that deep.
Furthermore, if we truly think that Mormonism is a harmful institution in one or more ways (as I do, and as I believe Craig does) then we are bound to speak out against it, both on our blogs and in person.
Calling us whiny and childish is not helpful, it does not advance any kind of dialogue, and it makes you sound like a hateful troll. Is that what you were aiming for?
@John
You make a lot of assumptions and extremely offensive comments about me and my character. I don't understand why you feel the need to do this on my blog. I haven't attacked you in any way, nor bashed anyone.
I simply express my feelings, my perceptions, my ideas and experiences. They often have to do with Mormonism because I was raised as and identified as "Mormon" for 22.5 years. It is my right to talk about it, and it only makes sense that it would have had, as Jér said, an "indelible impact" on my life.
I never truly lied outright about what I believed, whether on my mission or elsewhere. I may have said was expected when inside I had grave doubts, but while on my mission I was still Mormon, and thought of myself as Mormon, and believed in many of the doctrines of Mormonism, so it wasn't a lie.
But even if it had been, that's not for you to judge. I was coerced and forced from birth into Mormonism, into baptism, into the priesthood, into the temple an onto a mission, under threat of severe punishment, so I don't think that I'm the one who's got a problem with my values.
The reasons I write about my experience and am critical of Mormonism and religion in general is not because I need any affirmation from any other person that I'm doing the "right" thing. No, it's because these things need criticising, they need to be open and transparent, they need to be talked about. They hurt people, they brainwash people, and I would like for that to stop. I share my experiences because they're mine to share, and because it is a way I can healthily deal with the feelings they're associated with.
Lastly, what on earth do you mean by this:
You used to hate on Americans too after you have lived here for so long. Go back to canada then and stop whining to everyone else.
You speak as if you have some sort of real knowledge about who I am. If that is so then stop hiding and have a real conversation with me.
I don't hate on Americans or hate Americans or any other nationality. That would be ridiculous. I extremely dislike many American policies and laws, and the world-view of many Americans, but the kind of world-view I dislike certainly isn't held solely by Americans, nor by all or even most Americans.
I don't think in such generalities or stereotypes.
You know, my mission president wrote me a series of e-mails last year where he said basically the same thing, that I ought to go back to Canada. It's a very sad thing that you (and he) think that there's only room for one type of person or mindset in the US. That people oughtn't criticise that which they disagree with.
It's obviously an outgrowth of the Mormon authoritarian mindset and world-view - the very mindset I find harmful and which I will never cease to criticise.
Dear "John":
I want to thank you for providing the stereotypical whiny *Mormon* response to criticism.
"You used to hate on Americans too after you have lived here for so long. Go back to canada then and stop whining to everyone else."
Craig is a Canadian citizen but he chooses to live in the U.S.. In that regard, he is more authentically *American* than you, certainly more than I am (I renounced my U.S. Citizenship in Ottawa fifteen years ago. I was a Canadian citizen by birth through my parents.)
Craig criticises the LDS church and American society because deep down he loves the LDS church and cares about the people in it. He loves Americans also. This is the only reason one would criticize. If he were *hating on* (LOL!) people he disagrees with, he'd simply stay quiet, live his life, and laugh occasionally at how miserable many are who are stuck at BYU, in the LDS Church, or in America generally.
Criticism is not meant to destroy. It illuminates defective aspects of a social system so that they might be bettered and/or changed, to the advantage of the same system. This is the essence of this article. Had I wasted four years of my life at BYU, I wouldn't have bothered writing this. That's the difference between Craig and I. I simply don't care as much as he does. In that regard, he's a much better friend to you and BYU than I ever would be.
And just for the record, Craig has criticised aspects of Canadian society also. We both lived in Alberta for a while and our first conversation had to do with how superstitious and uneducated our relatives seem to be. Alberta, in many ways, puts Mississippi to shame. I could tell you stories, but I won't bother. As I said before, I don't care enough.
Just something to think about...
G
"Like it or not, Mormonism has had a deep, likely indelible impact on our lives, especially for those of us who grew up in Mormon families. There's simply no "getting over" something that deep."
Not only that but you still live surrounded by Mormons and Mormon culture. It impacts on your life because it's the society you live and work in.
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